You Deserve Aligned Support! Not Stress, Chaos, or “This Feels Off” Vibes

*Disclaimer: I'm a cusser and you'll find me dropping cuss words in my writing. If you easily get offended by the correct use of cussing, or the use of cussing as a form of expression, scroll on by. This piece, and my blog, likely isn't for you.

Hiring someone to help you — whether it’s a social media manager, virtual assistant, designer, copywriter, or content strategist — is supposed to make your life easier, not more chaotic. But let’s be honest… sometimes it ends up being a whole-ass mess.

You sign on the dotted line, thinking you’ve found “the one,” and a few weeks in you’re wondering why everything feels off. The energy’s weird. The communication sucks. You’re doing more managing than you planned. Or worse — you're stuck with content or services that feel nothing like you.

Finding the right person (or people) to support you in your business or creative work is about way more than a strong pitch or a pretty proposal.

It’s about alignment, energy, and the way they hold space for you and your vision.

This isn’t just for business owners either.

Whether you’re hiring someone to support a project, manage your brand, or help with behind-the-scenes logistics, it all comes down to this:

You’re trusting someone with your voice, your vibe, and your impact. That’s not a light thing.

So how do you avoid the mismatch? Let’s talk about it.

If you want to dive deeper, I had an incredible live conversation with Reagan from Flow Socially all about this exact topic. You can catch the full replay right here: Watch the IG Live Replay

Why the Energy of Who You Hire Matters More Than Ever

Here’s the thing... you can’t teach alignment.

Someone can have the best portfolio, the cleanest onboarding process, and even a great referral; but if the energy is off, the working relationship will be, too. Every. Single. Time.

Hiring support isn’t just about “getting shit done.” It’s about building collaboration and trust with someone who actually gets your vibe, respects your boundaries, and makes your life feel lighter, not heavier.

This is especially true if you’re someone who works in a heart-centered space.

Maybe you’re neurodivergent, queer, disabled, chronically ill, a trauma survivor, a creative, a visionary, a disruptor — someone who doesn’t do things the “traditional” way.

If that’s you, then you already know how important it is to feel safe and seen in your collaborations.

You don’t have the capacity to “make it work” with someone who doesn’t respect your nervous system or bulldozes your boundaries.

You deserve support that feels good, not just support that looks good on paper. And that begins with tuning into the energy someone brings, not just their elevator pitch.

Red Flags to Watch for in a Potential Service Provider

Listen... not all support is good support.

And if you’ve ever had to fire someone you hired (or wanted to, but felt too awkward), you already know what I mean.

Red flags aren’t always big and dramatic. They’re often the small, subtle signs that pop up early — but are so easy to ignore when you’re excited or feeling pressured to move fast. So let’s call them out so you can spot them next time.

Here are some big ones I’ve seen (and felt):

• They’re vague as hell about their process. If they can’t walk you through how they work, what to expect, or what their onboarding looks like, that’s a no from me.

  Ambiguity now = chaos later.

• They overpromise and under-explain. If they’re guaranteeing the moon but don’t have a plan to back it up? That’s ✨scammy✨ energy.

• They don’t ask you questions. If someone’s not curious about your voice, your values, your audience, or how you work, they’re not trying to collaborate — they’re trying to fit you into a prefab mold. Hard pass.

• They get defensive when you ask for clarity. Big yikes. You should be able to ask questions without feeling like you’re being “difficult.” Transparency and collaboration are non-negotiables.

• You feel like you’re being sold at, not listened to. This one is big. If the whole conversation feels like a pitch and not a dialogue, let's just shut that shit down right away. It's an absolute nope from me. You’re not a transaction. You’re a whole damn human looking for the right fit.

Sometimes the red flags aren’t even about them, they’re about how you feel after interacting with them. Heavy. Confused. Overwhelmed. Unclear. That’s your system saying, “This ain’t it.”

Which brings us to the next point...

Tuning Into Your Intuition When Hiring Support

Gut. Feelings. Matter.

We live in a world that’s constantly screaming “logic over emotion,” but let me say this loud for the folks in the back: your intuition is a valid decision-making tool.

That weird little twinge in your stomach? That tightness in your chest? That “this feels off but I don’t know why” sensation?

It’s not random. It’s not “being too sensitive.” It’s information.

Here’s the thing... your body picks up on stuff before your brain can make sense of it. And especially in business, we’re trained to override those cues in favor of professionalism, strategy, or what looks “right” on paper.

But when you’re hiring someone to help carry your work, your ideas, your vision — it’s personal.

You’re allowed to trust how it feels.

• Did you feel grounded and clear after talking with them... or buzzy and confused?

• Were you excited about what could happen... or are you already second-guessing it?

• Did your body say yes before your brain did? Or did your body say nope and your brain tried to talk you out of it?

Sometimes, red flags are loud. Other times, they’re more like a low hum in the background that gets louder over time. The sooner you pause and tune in, the easier it is to choose in alignment.

Because here’s the real talk: if something feels off now, it’s probably going to feel worse later.

Questions to Ask to Avoid Regret Later

Alright, this is the juicy part.

These questions? They’re not fluff. They’re clarity-creators.

They cut through the surface-level sparkle and get straight to the good stuff: how someone works, what they value, and whether they actually get you.

These aren’t just for social media managers or branding people. These work across the board — designers, VAs, copywriters, consultants, coaches, podcast editors, you name it.

Pull these out, tweak ‘em for your vibe, and don’t be afraid to ask them directly:

• “What does your content/service creation process look like?” If they can’t explain this clearly, that’s a flag. You want to know what happens after you say yes, because mystery isn’t cute when you’re investing money and energy.

• “How do you make sure the work sounds or feels aligned with my voice/brand?” If their answer is something like, “Oh, we’ll figure it out!”... nope. A real pro will have a process for tone, audience alignment, and brand feel.

• “How involved do I need to be, and what do you need from me?” This will save you so much future frustration. Set clear boundaries early. You need to know how often you'll be checking in, approving things, and what kind of input they expect.

• “What makes you different from others doing similar work?” You’re not just hiring someone who can do the job — you’re hiring the way they do it. This will help you find out if their approach aligns with yours.

• “Have you worked with clients like me before?” Whether that’s niche, values, or workflow-based — ask. And don’t be afraid to request examples. Past work is proof, and it helps you envision the fit.

• “What’s your mindset or beliefs around social media (or insert relevant area) and how it supports businesses?” This one is so telling. You want to know what they believe about strategy, storytelling, rest, hustle, consistency, community — whatever matters to you.

If they’re thrown off by these questions or can’t answer confidently? That doesn’t mean they’re bad — it just means they might not be your person.

These questions protect your time, your money, and your nervous system. Ask them. Always.

And if you need more or want to see the full list, watch the replay from Reagan and I's Instagram Live.

The Energetic Match: It’s Not Just Business, It’s Personal

There’s a lie floating around that says, “Don’t take it personally—it’s just business.”

And honestly? That phrase can fuck right off.

Because if you’re hiring someone to help hold your work, your voice, or your impact — it 100% is personal.

You’re not hiring a robot. You’re inviting someone into your creative world, your business, maybe even your trauma-informed or identity-rooted work. That is personal. And it requires trust.

The right-fit support doesn’t just help you do more, they help you feel more yourself in the process. They amplify your voice, not dilute it. They leave space for your humanity. They don’t try to control or correct your vision — they co-create with you.

When the energetic match is there, things feel smoother, clearer, lighter.

Not perfect, but supportive. Like you’re finally not carrying the whole thing alone.

You deserve to be supported by people who get it. Who get you. Not just what you do, but how you do it and why.

Support should feel safe. Collaboration should feel energizing. Business should feel more like you, not less.

What Happens When You Ignore the Red Flags (And How to Recover If You Have)

Let’s be honest, sometimes we do see the red flags, and we still move forward.

Maybe it was the pressure to finally get help. Maybe the person came highly recommended and you didn’t want to “miss out.”

Maybe they said all the right things in the DM but your gut was screaming, “This ain’t it.”

Maybe your people-pleasing or “it’ll be fine” energy made the decision for you.

Been there. Truly.

When you ignore red flags, this is what often happens:

• You feel drained. Instead of feeling supported, you’re managing the person who was supposed to help you.

• You lose trust in your own decision-making. You start second-guessing every hire, every dollar spent, every next move.

• Your voice gets lost in the process. Whether it’s content that doesn’t sound like you or systems that don’t match your flow, it starts to feel like someone else is steering your ship.

• You end up back at square one — sometimes with less energy, money, or confidence than when you started.

But here’s the thing: this happens to so many of us. 

And it doesn’t mean you’re bad at hiring or running a business or trusting your intuition. It just means you had a learning experience, and now, you get to do it differently.

So if you’ve found yourself in a mismatch, here’s how to pivot:

• Start with honesty. Talk to the person you hired. Be clear about what’s not working. You don’t need to over-explain or justify, just name the misalignment.

• Set new boundaries or end the contract. If there’s room to course-correct, cool. But if you’re done? You’re allowed to be done.

• Reflect on what you actually needed versus what you thought you did. Often we learn what support should feel like by first experiencing what it shouldn’t.

• Reclaim your power. You’re not a failure for walking away. You’re a badass for learning fast and choosing better next time.

What to Remember When You’re Hiring Support

If you take nothing else from this blog, let it be this:

• Trust your gut. You don’t need a reason to say no if the vibe is off.

• Ask better questions. Clarity now saves chaos later.

• Support should feel good. Period.

• Red flags don’t usually get better with time.

• You deserve help that amplifies your vision — not someone else’s.

You don’t need to settle for support that drains you. You’re allowed to be picky. You’re allowed to move slow. You’re allowed to protect your peace while growing your thing.

Real Talk: I Know This Because I’ve Lived It

You might be wondering how I can speak so confidently about all this — about red flags, misalignment, gut instincts, and finding the right support.

Well... because I’ve been there. And not just once.

Unfortunately, I’ve been in that space way too many damn times, saying a big ol’ “FUCK YES” to someone I thought was the right fit, only to realize (sometimes painfully late in the game) that it wasn’t working.

It’s hard. It’s frustrating. It’s energetically expensive. And it forced me to pause and reflect:

Why wasn’t this working? What was missing? What was I ignoring?

When I had my dance studio, I hired social media managers to help me get visible online. At the start, everything felt aligned. I was hopeful, confident, ready to hand it off. But months in, I realized I was redoing everything. The tone wasn’t right. The voice wasn’t mine. The understanding of the dance world, despite what they claimed, was surface-level at best.

It was a pattern I kept repeating.

Eventually, I dove into learning all the things myself — social media, virtual assistance, online visibility — because I couldn’t find the support I needed. When I bittersweetly closed my dance studio during the pandemic, that experience shaped how I pivoted.

I knew I wasn’t the only one struggling to find real, aligned support.

That’s why I now offer done-for-you support rooted in integrity, humanity, and real connection.

And even recently, I hired a Pinterest manager. I was clear: I didn’t want to learn another platform and needed support that wouldn’t pull my energy further.

Two weeks in, it wasn’t working; content misaligned, design off, tone nowhere close. I gave feedback, offered space to improve, and said internally, If this doesn’t shift, I’m out. It didn’t shift. So I walked away.

Here’s what I learned:

• Ask better questions. And ask them in different ways to watch the consistency in their answers.

• Read between the lines. Trust the energy, not just the words.

• Pay attention to their presence online. Are they walking their talk?

• Get clear on your own values, boundaries, and how you want to feel when supported.

• Don’t rush just because you feel like you “need to.”

• Give space but also know your line. Know when it’s time to move on.

And on the flip side?

I’ve worked with incredible service providers, people who got it from day one. They captured my tone, voice, branding, and message in a way that made me feel completely held.

Together, we created things I’m proud of. They helped me level up in ways I didn’t even realize I needed.

So trust me when I say: The right fit is worth waiting for. Worth asking more questions for. Worth protecting your energy for.

You’re not “too picky.” You’re protecting your work, your vision, and your peace.

Let’s Make Hiring Support Feel Less Like a Gamble

You deserve to feel empowered, not confused, pressured, or drained, when hiring support. The more we talk about this, the more we shift the culture away from hustle, fake urgency, and “any help is better than none” energy.

So if this blog hit home for you, here’s what’s next:

You can now download “Aligned or A Hot Mess?” — my free pre-service provider hire gut check guide packed with journal prompts and questions to help you hire with clarity, not chaos.

Whether you’re a creative, biz owner, dance studio leader or owner, or just trying to get shit off your plate, this pre-service provider hire gut check is here to help you pause before you commit.

Because this isn’t just about business, it’s about protecting your time, your voice, and your capacity.

If you’ve got a biz bestie who needs this message, pass it on. Let’s build a world where aligned support is the standard, not the exception.

STAY REBELLIOUS

Xoxo Santina Rigano-Lesch

Badass Human, Stereotype Breaker, Kindness Wins